I just bought a book about ScreemFree Parenting last weekend when I tried to go shopping with all three kids. I decided I have a lot to learn still and hoped that it could teach me what I need to do. Braden is constantly running when I tell him to stop, throwing when I tell him "don't throw", screaming, breaking, and mess making. Sadie is starting to pick up some sass too and when I told her that I was going to have to take something away because she wasn't being good, she threatened me right back with "then I'm not going to try to be good anymore" and "I'm going to run away". I don't know what I need to do, but the parents that I have the most respect for are the ones that I see never raising their voice and always seem so calm. The book I read basically said that instead of yelling, let the consequences do the yelling. So my question is, what consequences do you give a two year old that doesn't talk really well yet? And especially what consequences do you give them in public, when you can't send them to their room or give them a time out? Does anyone have any advice?
P.S. I still need to work on applying this screemfree parenting because today when I went downstairs I found Braden at the table with a bottle of water that he poured all over the table, all over my screemfree parenting book, all over Jason's laptop, and himself too. I did a little screeming then, but then noticed the title of the book again and felt guilty.
I'm trying.
The Carter Family
5 comments:
i read this post and it put a smile on my face. it's nice to know that everyone has crazy kids. it's hard trying to balance things while you're having more and more kids. even though 2 year olds seem somewhat "grown up" because they can do so much stuff, they are really babies still when you think about it. the whole thing with Braden wrecking the parenting book you were trying to learn from reminds me of my younger siblings ruining almost everything i owned when i was younger. not that it really helps at the moment, but one thing i try to do when i'm getting really upset with alyssa is to see the humor in it. i write in her journal the crazy things she does so we can look back and laugh at them. at other times, I just completely ignore her so I can keep my cool.
I think Cade and Braden were twins in the pre-existance.... except Braden can hold still and be quiet in a movie and Cade can't. I am working on the same things, not raising my voice, staying calm, giving the right punishment for the crime, etc. Another really good book that I am half way through is called "Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline". Hang in there, we all learn as we go.
Well, I decided to begin early and start reading some parenting books before I get to that point (we'll see if it helps). I went to the library and found the book you bought as well as the supernanny book "How to get the best from your children" she has really good tips.
I heard about that Scream Free Parenting book from Stephanie Monson, but haven't read it myself. I have taken some classes at our local school called "Love and Logic" and they are helpful and encourage the adult to never yell, but to show forth love and give consequences with sympathy. It has worked well on my most challenging son. They say it works well with even toddlers. I'm not sure if there is a book or if there is some info on-line. I think the most important thing as a mom is to stay calm yourself and remember "this too shall pass" and believe me that it really does pass quickly, even if the toddler and baby days seem eternal. When I scream my kids feel like they won the battle. When I am calm and consistent it really bugs them so I try to stay in control of myself. But sometimes they push me to the edge and then I scream, but after that I apologize and tell them that mommy could have handled that more maturely but their behavior was still unacceptable. Parenting is a great adventure.
I am a screamer, just ask my kids. I am the meanest mother ever. Braden is just acting out because there is a baby in the house that is getting more attention then he is, and the baby needs more of your attention right now. He will out grow it. Just give him lots of hugs and kisses. Let him help you with the baby, maybe get a daiper or a blanket. It is a big ajustment but you will all get there.
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